Weakness

This year has started off a little rough. I am not one to make New Years Resolutions. However, I do have goals in mind. Not necessarily for the year, but shorter, more realistic goals. Yet, I find myself getting disappointed. I have plans to get things done in a day or week, and find I am lucky to accomplish 50% of them. For example, house cleaning. I would like a cleaner house on a more constant basis. No matter what I do, it doesn't happen. People tell me I have 3 young children so that's what I should expect. I have seen other peoples house with several children and theirs does not look remotely the same.

Thank the Lord, my husband knew what he was getting into. He definitely didn't marry me for my homemaking skills. Don't get me wrong, there are some homemaking skills I am good at (cooking). Cleaning house just isn't one of them.

I think of a Proverbs 31 woman and all she did for her household. I do such a small fraction of those things. Yet, I find myself constantly beating myself up. Over what? A weakness. One that I recognize. And why? Because I allow Satan to. Really? I choose to allow Satan the satisfaction of my self doubt. It saddens me and brings me to tears a lot of times because I have no control over this area of my life. I try not to worry as the Lord says in his word. That's not easy being female. That is one thing we as women are great at. Why did we receive that emotion? However, looking through the word I found this:

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our ime of need.
Hewbrews 4:15-16
This is the solution. It is clear in the word, approach his throne of grace. Not only approach it, but approach with confidence. A certainty that he will provide mercy and grace to help me in my time of need. What more of a reward can you ask for? And He gives it willingly if we seek him. So I approach His throne of grace now. I ask for grace and mercy in my weakness. My weakness of allowing Satan to beat me up, ridicule me, and fill me with self doubt over a worldy thing. The house that I need to keep clean, is the one in my heart. The one where my relationship lies with the Lord.